i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
