I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
