This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
