when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
