Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
