batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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