I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
