Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
