I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
