that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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