Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
