This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
