i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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