WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
