I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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