I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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