It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize