we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
