She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
