well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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