I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
