It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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