ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I met the friendliest cop last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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