I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
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Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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