these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize