so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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