Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
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No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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