I want to walk on stilts...naked
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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