He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My breasts were aching with rage.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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