Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i would punch a child for taco bell
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
