just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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