You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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