Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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