I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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