How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize