Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
