My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
