Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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