Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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