had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
