Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
