Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i've created a new STD.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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