a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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