just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
