I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
