What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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