In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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