Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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