You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
