Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
