Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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