It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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