My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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