i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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