If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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