i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
