You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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