I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
