It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
