And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
