plz talk dirty to me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
