Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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